Funny Quotes about Life or funny words of wisdom continues our Fun look at all things fun Ireland. Whether we are making a witty comment about something or someone (including ourselves) there are many collections of these funny and inspirational life quotes over the years.
Indeed as a people we are often the source of many a witty joke ! -well that said anything that brings a glimmer of a smile or a laugh to our daily life is no bad thing.
Here are a collection of quotes.
“In Ireland, you go to someone's house, and she asks you if you want a cup of tea. You say no, thank you, you're really just fine. She asks if you're sure. You say of course you're sure, really, you don't need a thing. Except they pronounce it ting. You don't need a ting. Well, she says then, I was going to get myself some anyway, so it would be no trouble. Ah, you say, well, if you were going to get yourself some, I wouldn't mind a spot of tea, at that, so long as it's no trouble and I can give you a hand in the kitchen. Then you go through the whole thing all over again until you both end up in the kitchen drinking tea and chatting.
In America, someone asks you if you want a cup of tea, you say no, and then you don't get any damned tea.
I liked the Irish way better.”
― C.E. Murphy, Urban Shaman
“Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.”
-George Bernard Shaw
“I think being a woman is like being Irish... Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the time.”
- Iris Murdoch
“This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.”
“Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy.”
“That's right, there's free beer in Irish paradise. Everyone's jealous.”
-Kevin Hearne, Hammered
"I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted."
"We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English."
"All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed."
"I only drink on two occasions - When I am thirsty and when I'm not thirsty."
"I used to go missing quite a lot...Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World."
"Those who drink to forget, please pay in advance."
-Sign at the Hibernian Bar, Cork City.
"A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart."
"My father was totally Irish, and so I went to Ireland once. I found it to be very much like New York, for it was a beautiful country, and both the women and men were good-looking."